


'cause you can save yourself, you know

by watercolorwoods



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Communication, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), but he's trying his best !!, in which the dsmp dumbasses actually TALK ABT HOW THEY FEEL, there would be no conflict if they knew how to talk abt feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watercolorwoods/pseuds/watercolorwoods
Summary: He swallows thickly, and clears his throat. "It's just… I hear Dream, sometimes. He says I've done these really terrible things, and that I just can't remember doing them. And the worst part is," his voice cracks, and he laughs bitterly, feeling the tears prick his eyes again. "I'll never know if it's true."-After the voice in Ranboo's head that sounds just like Dream shows him the TNT in his panic room, Phil and Techno are there to support him.
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 1067
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	'cause you can save yourself, you know

**Author's Note:**

> i speedran this wtf? so excited for the next stream and can't wait to see more of these three!! for now take my fluff

"Ranboo."

_ He blinks, gaze darting around. He's surrounded by black. The voice is entirely disembodied, echoing all around him, too far away for him to make out its owner. His feet are stuck in place, limbs locked tight. He feels… cold. Where is he? What's going on?  _

_ Once more he blinks, and when he looks down, he feels the weight of his memory book in his hands. He breathes deeply, and smiles. He has the book, he'll be able to understand why he's here, and where 'here' is. He runs his fingers over the letters spelling out 'DO NOT READ' in neat, fine, capital print. It's okay. _

_ He opens it. _

_ The crude smiley face stares right back at him, taking up only a single line on the far side of the page, drawn lightly in pen. His heart picks up, and he hears it thundering in his ears. Why is he sweating? _

_ He flips the page. _

_ Covering the entire page in jagged, nearly illegible letters are the words "YOU DID IT, IT WAS ALL YOU" over and over and over again, getting bigger and louder as they continue down the page, and- louder? _

_ He hears it. Louder. It starts in a whisper, just tickling his ears. You did it, it was all you. It crescendos, spikes into a scream, a howl, begging to be heard, demanding he listens. You did it, it was all you. _

"Ranboo!"  _ Who said that? _

_ You did it, it was all you. You did it, it was all you. His head pounds, until it feels like the twist of a knife splits his skull in two, until the screech of an enderman settles in as background noise to the voice in his ears. It takes him a few seconds to realize that it's him making it. _

_ His knees meet the ground, and he feels the tears rolling down his face, electric upon his skin. It hurts to cry, but he can never stop it. He's weak.  _

" _ Ranboo!" _

Ranboo's eyes fly open, and the warped screech still fills his ears as he throws himself upwards. He stands on long, shaky legs for one, two beats before he comes crashing back down. 

His scream dies out as arms catch him firmly, wrapping around his back and holding him tight. His heart races so quickly in his chest he's sure it might pop out, and his limbs burn uncomfortably. He finally puts a name to the voice.

"Phil?" He asks, voice breaking so badly he cringes. His mouth is so dry, and his cheeks sting from the tears that trail down them.

"It's me," Phil confirms, voice soft in his ear, so unlike-

_ Dream. _

His breathing quickens once again, his arms and legs tingling as he pulls himself from Phil's grasp. Frantically, he whips his head around, mind racing a mile a minute.  _ I blew up the community house. I helped Dream make the TNT that destroyed L'manberg. It was all me, it was all me- _

"Hey!" 

He paces back and forth, nearly tripping over himself as he goes, eyes searching the walls for the groove, that  _ stupid groove _ -

There. He practically tumbles into the wall, pulling out his pickaxe and wedging it in crack. He pries, as hard as he can with his trembling, weak arms, and the piece of obsidian pops free. The chest sits firmly in place in the hole. 

His eyes burn with unshed tears, and he sobs, hand over his mouth. He takes a step back, and another, and another, until his back hits the opposite wall.

Phil steps in between him and the chest, his eyes wide and his steps hesitant. "Ranboo, listen to me. You didn't do any of that," Phil tells him, voice firm but as kind as ever.

"Phil," he cries, and the man paces towards him in response. He squeezes his eyes shut. "I hurt them, I hurt them so  _ badly _ , it was  _ me-" _

And once again, Phil's arms are wrapped around him, squeezing him tight. Another sob escapes his lips and he gives in once he feels Phil's wings make a cage around them. They both fall to the floor, obsidian digging painfully into their knees.

"I'm so sorry," he pleads, grabbing at the back of Phil's shirt and sobbing into his shoulder. " _ I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry _ , I can't remember, Phil, I did it and I- I can't  _ remember." _

Gently, Phil shushes him, and he feels fingers rubbing at his scalp. "It wasn't you," Phil says like a promise. "It's never been you."

The walk back is quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Ranboo always gets nervous, walking along these precarious bridges that span right across lava. But he thinks he prefers it to the ocean, and its miles and miles of endless water. He shudders, even in the heat of the nether.

Climbing through the portal and immediately being hit with cold, sharp wind is never pleasant, and he doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. His enderman half regulates his body temperature really well, but the sudden switches are just as difficult for him as anyone else.

They make small talk during the short trek through the snow, mostly complaints about the cold and Techno's choice of living area.

When the cottage comes into sight, Techno is standing right at the door, pacing back and forth. Phil calls out to him, and his head whips up, finding the two of them almost immediately. He meets them right at the door.

"Oh, my God," Techno breathes out all at once, hands on Phil's face as if to make sure he's real. After holding them there a moment, he pulls Phil into a quick hug, and sighs. "You scared the shit out of me."

Ranboo shifts uncomfortably as Phil laughs a little, and pats Techno on the back. He feels a lot like he's intruding. The two of them separate, and Ranboo promptly straightens, arms and legs stiff. He glances at Phil, who catches his eye and smiles, squeezing his elbow reassuringly.

"You look like hell," The pig hybrid says bluntly.

It startles a bark of a laugh from Ranboo's lips, and he slaps his hand over his mouth immediately.  _ Oh, God, why did I laugh, I'm such an idiot- _

But when he chances a glance at Techno, the boy is grinning, just visible from beneath his mask. His chuckle is quiet, but it's  _ there _ . The tension seeps from Ranboo's shoulders, and he smiles softly, feeling a little bit fuzzy.

"Did something happen?" Techno asks, a trace of a smile still on his lips as he steps out of the doorway. The two of them trail in, with Techno shutting the door behind them. He plops down on top of the wooden box on the opposite wall.

"That's what I was wondering," Phil says softly, a clear nudge in Ranboo's direction, but not a forceful one. His gaze is full of kindness as he rolls his bag off his shoulders and sits down on the small couch. "I found him out cold on the floor of his panic room."

The smile drops from Techno's face, and his brows furrow. "You were knocked out. In L'manberg. If someone-"

"Ah, it's not- it's not like that," Ranboo rushes out, waving his hands as he drops onto the couch next to Phil. He folds his legs underneath him, grabbing his ankles and staring at the floor. "I guess I just do it sometimes."

"Pass out?" Phil questions, voice tense with concern. He sounds like he might pop a blood vessel at any moment, really.

"I mean, yeah," he murmurs, slumping against the back of the couch. "In the panic room, I just, I don't know, it's like… I get super stressed out, and then I wake up like an hour later."

Should he mention Dream? The community house? The way his mind tears itself in two any chance it can get? Maybe just… part of it. Pick and choose.  _ Don't sound too crazy. _

He swallows thickly, and clears his throat. "It's just… I hear Dream, sometimes. He says I've done these really terrible things, and that I just can't remember doing them. And the worst part is," his voice cracks, and he laughs bitterly, feeling the tears prick his eyes again. "I'll never know if it's true."

The silence is heavy between the three of them, and Ranboo purses his lips, knuckles white from how hard he grips his ankles.

An arm pulls him sideways, and he grunts, eyes widening. He glances over at Phil, who sits with an arm around him, head on his shoulder. He stares in vaguely disguised awe, warmth coiling in his gut.

"You're not the person that voice says you are," Phil insists, and Ranboo watches him lock eyes with Techno. He raises a brow, and turns a questioning look in Techno's direction.

"Listen," Techno starts awkwardly, fingers twiddling with his cape. "I mean… I don't really know how to help, but you're not alone. I don't hear Dream, but I do hear… voices.

"It was hard, at first." Techno takes a shuddering breath, and Ranboo feels for him. He looks around nervously, leg bouncing. "When I was young, it was hard to shut them out. I mostly just did what they said, and that really… really… um. Some of them are bad, some of them are good. You just have to find the good, and uh... latch onto it."

Ranboo blinks. There are few times he can think of where Techno has sounded as human as he does now. He forgets, sometimes; Techno may be powerful, but he struggles the same as the rest of them. 

He decides then and there that he'll be a good friend to Techno. No betrayals, no exploitation. He'll see him as Techno, not _Technoblade_. He'll learn from all of Tommy's mistakes, because he thinks that even with all that this man has done, he deserves as much.

Techno clears his throat awkwardly, climbing to his feet, and Ranboo realizes he never answered. "Uh," Techno stammers. "It- it gets better. It doesn't… seem like it now, but… it does. It has. I promise."

Ranboo watches him flee through the front door, and he can't help but smile. He feels lucky. He feels  _ happy. _

"He was hard to control, when he was younger," Phil hums, a smile on his face. "The voices demanded blood, and he didn't know what to do with that. It's my fault, really. I had them before him. But then I found him and Will, and they were gone.

"I didn't know how to handle it, back then. Not when I had them, and not when he did," he says honestly, and squeezes Ranboo one more time for good measure before he stands up. Wide-eyed, Ranboo gazes up at him.

"I don't know how much I can help now. But if there's anything I can do to make the green bastard in your head shut his mouth, I'll do it. No questions asked."

And the smile on his face grows ever wider. He feels so light, like everything inside him has been scooped right out, and the clouds have cleared from over the sun. He's not alone.

Maybe, for now, that's enough.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments r so incredibly cool
> 
> twt: @nethertwt


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